Would you let your son dive into this pool? Would a story change your mind?

I love visiting waterfalls and creeks and swimming holes in the rainforest.

There is beauty. There is  peace.
But also a  sense of activity as the water moves through its environment, trickling or roaring, making music of its own and changing the landscape as it goes.

This was a river, one of many, that we visited on our holiday, with all of the beauty and peace and movement. It is a popular tourist place, with facilities for visitors including beautifully maintained walks and lookouts. The river runs through huge rocks and the place is actually called “The Boulders”.

At many of the places we had visited before this one, there were swimming “holes” where people were swimming in the rivers, cold though the temperature was at the time, and other places where tour guides showed their clients how to inch across the rocks and slide safely with the water to a pool below.

It’s something that people do.

I have never swum in these water holes,  but I like to see the joy and fun that people have who do.

At a lake we visited there were the usual young men daring each other to feats of daring by diving backwards with a somersault into the lake, off a pontoon.

And in watercourses all around the country on any given day, there are children swinging out over lagoons and waterholes on an old tyre attached to a rope and jumping off into the water.

And all around the country, in any given year there will be accidents – people who want that fun, carefree joy and challenge – but who dive into shallow water or land on something submerged in the water.

There are people absolutely incapacitated because of such accidents or even worse.

In many places there are signs, just like this one …

and on the whole, people abide by them. Not always.

If I were a young man (or woman, though it seems to be young men who are more tempted), would I abide by them?

If I were a young man’s mother, would I want him to abide by them? I know the temptation is strong for the fun, carefree joy and challenge, and I know it is not always resisted.

But at The Boulders, the signs were different. And here’s where the story comes in.

I had never ever before seen a sign that said “Many people have died here”, and it was repeated on signs throughout the area.

People have died here.

That is a four word story.

I like to think it would have more impact than the standard sign.

If you were a young man (or woman), would you be more likely to abide by the rule?

If you were a young man’s parent or friend, would you be more likely to persuade him? I would like to think so.

I know as a mother … I would.

I was caught by this thought every time we passed such a sign.

But then when we walked out of the rainforest into the car park, I noticed this plaque on a rock.

Did he dive … and die?

Perhaps not, but if the story is that he did, imagine his mother, his father, his friends, his family, his community and how they felt when he did not return – forever – just because of that daredevil impulse.

That is a heartrending story of a young man who did not live out his life as he could have and whose death must have caused waves and years of anguish.

If you were a young man (or woman), would you be more likely to abide by the rule … knowing that story?

If you were a young man’s parent or friend, would you be more likely to persuade him?

I would like to think so.

I know as a mother … I would.

3 Ways Imperfection Adds Beauty To Your Relationships

 

What is the perfect relationship?

Movies and books would have you think you have to attain perfection to be happy as a couple. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, there are several ways in which imperfection adds beauty to your relationship.

Consider these things: Imperfection is What Draws You Closer

When we first meet someone new, we tend to wear a mask. We want people to see us as something bigger and better than we are.

This showboating is normal. Everyone likes to be liked. But when you're in a relationship, there comes a time when you need to take the masks off.

Here's where you share your imperfections and vulnerabilities with the other person. In these moments, you allow someone to see your truest self, where you build the closest relationship. This is an amazingly intimate process.

When the other person likewise feels safe enough to reveal their innermost self to you, these vulnerabilities come together to form the closest relationship you will ever experience in your lifetime. All of this stems from your imperfections. You couldn't reach this point without them.

Imperfection Teaches us Compassion

When you're in a relationship, it's not uncommon to start noticing the other person's flaws. If you are caught up in perfectionism, these flaws will irritate and annoy you.

Why are they not more perfect?

Why are they not trying the way you are?

On the other hand, if you are willing to admit to your flaws and imperfections, these mistakes will make you feel compassion and tolerance when the other person messes up. After all, would we want them to give the same to us?

Imperfection Builds Better Habits

Isn't it funny how we come to be like our significant other? When you've been in a relationship for a while, the other person's decisions start to become our decisions as well. For example: if the other person makes poor choices regarding health or fitness, it's quite likely you will as well.

The nice thing about admitting to imperfections is we're able to see where we're messing up and correct our behavior. Our significant other see us making this effort and will follow our lead more often than not. Thankfully, these joint mistakes become something you can later laugh about. for now, even if it's painful, our imperfections will unite us as we learn new lessons, which in turn create a better and healthier "us."

These three items might not seem very important at first glance, but give them a chance. If you're willing to be imperfect with the other person, you will find they are more willing to be imperfect with you. This is a beautiful thing and helps build a stronger and more long-lasting relationship.

3 Aspects of Imperfection to Embrace

Imagine you’ve just made a mistake. How do you feel? Ready to celebrate?

If a celebration is the furthest thing from your mind, you're not alone. Most people hate when they make mistakes. For one thing, it's embarrassing to get something wrong. For another, it means you haven't reached the goal you'd set for yourself. There isn't much to like here.

Or is there?

Think about it. When we make mistakes, we learn how not to do something. Even more exciting is when these so-called 'mistakes' lead us into something new or interesting which we might never have found otherwise. After all, bubble wrap was completely a mistake, as the inventor was trying to make a new kind of wallpaper. So were things like Post-It Notes, the microwave oven, potato chips, and superglue.

There are several aspects of imperfection you would do well to embrace. Consider these traits:

Imperfection Gives You the Ability to Succeed

When you constantly strive for perfection and miss, you start thinking you're never going to accomplish anything. Eventually, you stop trying at all, guaranteeing the very failure you were trying to avoid. With imperfection, you aren’t so worried about potential failure, meaning you’re more likely to keep trying until you reach your goals.

Imperfection Builds the Best Relationships

Perfectionism at its worst tells you the rest of the world is never going to measure up. After all, these people don't perform as you want them to, so why would you expect anyone who fails to have any value. With this thought in mind, we start seeing others as being worthless. Failures. Now imagine trying to build a relationship with anyone when you expect so little of them. Isn't this a surefire disaster waiting to happen? Imperfection reminds us we're all human and therefore treats others with kindness. Now imagine how relationships flourish in this kind of atmosphere.

Imperfection Gives Us Self-Worth

This flawed view of the world becomes even worse when directed at ourselves. We start seeing all the ways we don't measure up, and as a result, our self-talk takes a turn for the worse. We beat ourselves up endlessly in an ongoing litany of negativity. We remind ourselves we're falling short at every turn until eventually, we feel so bad about ourselves there seems little reason to go on living. With imperfection, though, we can accept our efforts as being good enough. We can celebrate small victories and solid attempts. We start seeing our efforts as worthwhile and ourselves as having value again. Imperfection changes our self-talk toward positivity.

In short, these three aspects of imperfection combine to make us our best selves. No more do we need to hold ourselves to impossible standards. Our imperfect self already has everything needed to make you into the best version of yourself.

Is Overscheduling Harmful to Your Health?

When you overschedule yourself, you are harming not only your health but also your productivity. Overscheduling means that you are trying to pack too much into your day, resulting in you feeling overwhelmed and stressed-- leading to health problems, including anxiety, depression, and even physical illness.

Here are just a few ways that overscheduling can harm your health:

It leads to burnout

If you're constantly on the go, it's only a matter of time before you start to feel burned out. When you're overscheduled continuously, you never have time to rest and recharge, which can lead to serious health problems down the road.

It increases your stress levels

If you're always running around trying to juggle everything, it's no surprise that your stress levels will go through the roof. But unfortunately, high-stress levels directly cost a whole host of mental and physical health problems due to the high cortisone levels you release in your bloodstream.

It disrupts your sleep

When you're overscheduled, it's hard to stick to a regular sleep schedule. Unfortunately, this can lead to many health problems, including fatigue, irritability, and depression.

It makes you sick

It will affect your immune system if you're always on the move and don’t get enough rest. Unfortunately, this means you're more likely to get sick, and when you do, it's likely to be more severe than it would otherwise be.

It ruins your relationships

When you're always running around, it's tough to find time for the people who are important to you. Plus, you may not be that fun to be around. Over-scheduling can put a strain on even the strongest of relationships.

If you're starting to feel like you're overscheduled because you notice the signs of the harm your current schedule is causing in your life, it's essential to take a step back and reassess your priorities.

Of course, your health should always be at the top of your list, so remember to put your needs first.

To avoid overscheduling is to figure out what your priorities are. What are the most important things you need to complete each day? Once you’ve determined your priorities, plan your day around them. Finally, leave some free time in your schedule to relax and rejuvenate yourself.

To create the best schedule for you, be realistic about how much time you have available. Packing too much into your day will make you feel rushed and stressed. When you are rushed and stressed, you will feel anxious and undone. Instead, give yourself enough time to finish tasks, including set up and tear down time, so you don’t feel overwhelmed.

If you realize you are overscheduled, don’t be afraid to say no to new commitments. You can’t do everything, and that’s okay. Prioritize your time to focus on the essential things in your life.

Overscheduling is a common problem, but it doesn’t have to control your life. Instead, focus on being mindful of your time and priorities. With the right mindset and focus, you can avoid overscheduling and live a healthier, happier life.